can we start again?

Here we are, once again. Isn’t God gracious? I’ve failed time and time again bogged down by the lies that no one is reading these words. Yet I am reminded of all the people over the years that have massively been impacted by a post. My encouragement comes from the occasional one or two comments sharing how timely the word was and how it spurred them to keep going in life. My most recent reminder to keep writing is my high school student telling me she and another one of my high schoolers follow my blog.. and how they really liked what I had to say. I’ve also had the privilege of having a friend here and there cheer me on.

I should’ve known earlier, but the amount of likes, comments, and cheerleaders don’t reflect how impactful my writing is and shouldn’t determine whether or not I keep writing. Sometimes those you love most may be the ones who are judging most harshly, and the fear of rejection is a killer. (Thank GOD, I’m free from that and learning to walk it out.) Honestly, I feel like I’ve placed the lid on a boiling pot and I’ve ignored the pressure building. But because I know in the deepest part of my being that I am created to write, this urge keeps coming back no matter how much and how hard I try to shoo it away and pretend it doesn’t exist. Ignorance here is not bliss. This desire to write, to speak, to share my thoughts, to encourage others, to call you higher is a constant stream and I’ve capped this natural flow into a pressurized canteen doomed forever.

As if it wasn’t difficult enough to even get myself to write, I’ve come to believe everything I do in this digital age must be monetized and/or productive. And because writing doesn’t feel like it’s monetizing or producing, I felt paralyzed to move forward. Whatever happened to this being a passion project? An outlet to release what’s inside of me? A place to encourage and empower others? And who says it’s not productive? Do I not view empowering others as productive? Why of course! I absolutely hate how skewed my perspective became. I’m angry at the devil for his plots and schemes to keeping me silent for decades. Because I held back from pouring out to others, I’ve stunted myself and limited my reach to those who have been, currently are, or will be reading along. I’m so sorry for that.

Can we start again together? This is a precious space for you and me. I pray that as you spend time here, you will know and feel the love of the Lord Jesus Christ envelope you, and that you would be encouraged and empowered to live your BEST life in every way.

Love you much,
Amy ❤

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