drawing closer

Driving to work today, I ask myself what is my greatest desire this season:

I want to love You as much as I possibly can.

I’ve known this to be my heart’s desire for years, yet have not known how to allow my heart to vulnerably move forward in this desire. Life’s told me it’s not possible and it’s not worth trying.

Like many of you I hear voices in my head. Some of these voices lead me to create beliefs, and consequently habits in thought and action, for better or for worse.

“You shouldn’t be hanging out at church so much. If you do, you should go to seminary to work at church.”
“Stop hanging out at cults.” – when I hungered for more (there had to be more.)
“God doesn’t talk like that” – after I truly felt I heard God’s voice personally.

Growing up I didn’t have people in my life that modeled a vibrant and engaging relationship with God. It led me to think it wasn’t possible. However as I grew in my faith, showing up for Sunday Service and Sunday School just didn’t cut it for me. Hunger and longing for my loving Savior set me on a journey of intimacy with Him. Thank God for giving me the gift of hunger! I’ve learned and experienced much, and I’m ready for more. It’s time to dive into a deeper adventure of intimacy.. no matter what people may say. If Jesus was rejected in His own hometown, why should I be surprised if I am rejected? It will cost us literally our entire lives, but it will be oh so worth it.

Have voices caused you to doubt the possibility of having a vibrant relationship with God?
Have you been told that “you’re too much” for chasing after this God you’re hoping to be real?
Are you scared of judgement from your friends and family?
Do you feel like you’re too far gone for God to want you?

First of all, God loved you first. Before you were even born, God sent His Son to die on the cross.. so that you can have relationship with Him and save you from the pits of hell. What an amazing God He is for even desiring relationship with us! The ball is in your court. Choose Him!

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.

John‬ ‭3:16-17‬ ‭(ESV‬‬)

Second, know your enemy. As you pursue God, don’t be surprised when you meet resistance. Satan absolutely hates that you’re considering and taking action to know God. He will mess with your mind. He will tempt you to doubt God. Don’t give him the time of day and focus on God’s truths.

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.

John 10:10 (NKJV)

Third, keep drawing close to Him. I love His promise to draw near to us when we draw near to Him. Never stop.

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. 

James 4:8 (ESV)

For those who think you are far too gone: you’re not. He didn’t come for the righteous, but for people like you! His blood is powerful enough to cover your deepest, darkest you name it. Talk to Him. May His love cover you.

I did not come to call the [self-proclaimed] righteous [who see no need to repent], but sinners to repentance [to change their old way of thinking, to turn from sin and to seek God and His righteousness].

John 5:32 (Amplified)

For those who are diligent in reading the Word, journaling, praying, serving in the church, don’t forget that loving Him is the priority. Keep Him as your First Love.

And to love Him with all the heart, with all the understanding, with all the soul, and with all the strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself, is more than all the whole burnt offerings and sacrifices.

Mark 12:33 (NKJV)

For the people like me who feel like we’re not “allowed” to love and pursue God with our everything, may this verse give you complete permission!!!!!!

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.

Mark 12:30 (CSB)

Change is possible –

“You can find the answers to all of life’s questions in the Bible,” someone once told me. I didn’t give the statement much thought. As a child, I opened the (Adventure) Bible for fun stories. As a good student, I opened the Bible to answer questions on a handout. As a church goer, I opened the Bible to follow along with the pastor’s teaching. I didn’t have much relationship with the Word. It was a reference book in these certain environments. Now as an adult, I finally realize this relationship can change. I can choose to engage with it. I can get to know Jesus and His heart better through the Word. I can ask Holy Spirit for His help as I seek more understanding. I can change the relationship I have with the Word. It’s not too late.

The same is true with my relationship with God. Just because I didn’t have people model the relationship with God that I now realize is possible doesn’t mean I can’t have it now! He isn’t a domineering God calling all the shots in heaven or some far-removed being that wants nothing to do with me. He’s a Father in Heaven who has paid the price of His Son so that we can be adopted into His family! No matter where you are in relationship with God, know that you can renew your mind to think differently (rightly) and go deeper with Him. There is always more!

If you don’t have a personal relationship with God yet, I invite you to say YES to Him.
If you have strayed away and desire to come back to Him, say YES to Him.
If you already know Him and want to go deeper with Him, say YES to Him.

He’s already given you the invite. It’s up to YOU to say YES.

Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.

2 Thessalonions 3:5 (NKJV)

Much Much 🧡,


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